The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice - The SWAT Kats Encyclopedia

Animato Summary

The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice

Airdates: September 11/12, 1993
Written by Glenn Leopold

When two grave robbers accidentally free the Pastmaster from his 800-year imprisonment, he steals his "Tome of Time" spellbook from the Megakat City Museum of History and attempts to change the metropolis back to the Dark Ages form he prefers. The wicked wizard summons dinosaurs through a magical "time vortex" to act as his bodyguards, one of whom knocks the SWAT Kats through the portal into the prehistoric era. Can our heroes fight their way past the dinosaurs, return to the present and stop the Pastmaster before time runs out? This may have been chosen as SWAT Kats' premiere episode because its use of dinosaurs was very timely in the wake of Jurassic Park. It's okay, but not the best possible introduction to the series. B

Trivia: Most SWAT Kats episodes are preceded with a clip of an action scene from the story, with Razor's voice saying "Today on SWAT Kats ..." Since "Pastmaster..." was the first episode aired, it has a different beginning, intended to introduce the series, in which Razor narrates a brief overview of the SWAT Kats format over an assortment of clips (all from "The Giant Bacteria," except for one closeup of the Pastmaster from this episode).

Appearances: Dr. Abby Sinian has a strong supporting role in this episode.

In-Depth Summary

The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice

Written by: Glenn Leopold

Cast:
Charlie Adler - T-Bone/Tom
Barry Gordon - Razor
Keene Curtis - The Pastmaster
Tress MacNeille - Callie Briggs
Linda Gary - Dr. Sinian
Gary Owens - Commander Feral
Jim Cummings - Mayor Manx
Ed Gilbert - Sergeant/3rd Enforcer
Earl Boen - Jack/1st Enforcer/Museum Guard
Frank Birney - 2nd Enforcer

In an old graveyard outside Megakat City, grave robbers Jack and Tom are digging around for valuable artifacts, so that they can sell them to the Megakat City Museum of History. They find an old chest and, thinking there's treasure inside, Tom pries it open, only to find a small red skeleton in purple robes and clutching a gold pocket watch. Jack is unimpressed, but Tom says the watch might be worth something.

However, as he reaches for it, the figure springs to life! The skeleton announces himself to be the Pastmaster, imprisoned within the chest for 800 years, and proceeds to go in search of his spell book, the Tome of Time, ignoring the grave robbers. Scared, Jack suggests they leave, but Tom says they can sell the Pastmaster to the museum, so they grab their digging tools and advance on the wizard. Finally taking notice of them, the Pastmaster uses his watch to zap a couple of graves, causing their occupants to come alive as skeletal zombies. The zombies grab away the grave robbers' tools, and chase them away.

The Pastmaster then orders them to start digging and find the Tome of Time, and no sooner have they begun than an Enforcer choppers arrives, its pilots telling the zombies to put down the tools. Getting a closer look, they see the zombies aren't exactly alive, and blast them to pieces. They land and get out to inspect the scene. They spot the old chest, and decide to take it to the museum. Overhearing their conversation from his hiding place, the Pastmaster concludes he'll find his book there, so he hitches a ride on their chopper's landing gear.

Along the way, he marvels at what has been accomplished over 800 years, but longs for the familiar Dark Ages, and decides that once he finds his book, he'll turn everything back to the way it was in his time. Meanwhile, the SWAT Kats are having a bit of a contest, testing their resistance to G-forces in a centrifuge. T-Bone wins by holding out for ten seconds at Mach 5, while Razor is unable to handle the pressure and blacks out. Coming to, he accuses the boasting T-Bone of cheating, just saying he lasted ten seconds, when he himself could've blacked out.

Indignant, T-Bone challenges Razor to a second contest, and its back in the centrifuge for them, T-Bone telling Razor to just admit that he can last longer than him. Razor retorts that he'll believe it when he sees it. At the Megakat City Museum of History, Deputy Mayor Callie Briggs is talking to Dr. Abby Sinian, the curator, about the new planned exhibits for the museum. The subject changes tot he chest brought in earlier by the Enforcers, and Dr. Sinian says that it's from the Dark Ages.

Unbeknownst to them, the Pastmaster has slipped inside and is searching for the Tome of Time. He's spotted by a security guard, who tells him the museum is closed, and attempts to apprehend him. But, the Pastmaster zaps a saber-toothed tiger display, bringing it to life. It attacks the guard, who tumbles back into a dinosaur skeleton, causing it to come crashing down onto him. Hearing the noise, Callie and Dr. Sinian come running. The saber-toothed tiger turns its attention to them, and chases them off down the hall.

The Pastmaster goes into Dr. Sinian's office, and finds Callie's purse, and, digging through it, he accidentally activates the communicator. Back at the SWAT Kats' hanger, the alarm goes off, and T-Bone stops the centrifuge and answers the call but, getting no answer, he realizes something's wrong. He wakes up Razor, who had blacked out again, and they hop into the Turbokat and blast off towards the museum, following the communicator's homing signal. Callie and Dr. Sinian run onto the roof, followed by the saber-toothed tiger, just as the Turbokat lands.

The tiger knocks them off the roof, but they grab onto the drainpipe and hang on. The saber-toothed tiger leaps onto the Turbokat's cockpit, but Razor pops the canopy, catapulting the monster off and into a wall. T-Bone hops out and pulls Callie and Dr. Sinian to safety, but the saber-toothed tiger recovers, and is about to attack, when Razor hits it with slugs from the cement cannon, plastering it to the wall. Dr. Sinian says that only a sorcerer's dark magic could bring the display to life like that.

The Enforcers then arrive, much to T-Bone's annoyance. In the hall of ancient manuscripts, the Pastmaster finally locates the Tome of Time, and walks right out the front door with it. He's confronted by the stern Sergeant, who demands he surrender, but he simply flips through the book and reads a spell, causing a whirling portal above to open, depositing a one-hundred foot tall "Megasaurus Rex" onto the street.

It picks up the Pastmaster and lumbers down the street, ignoring the fire from the Enforcers. The SWAT Kats get back into the Turbokat and fly after them, firing a barrage of Octopus Missiles, but the Megasaurus Rex hits them with its tail, breaking them, and the shards fly back and hit the jet, severing the fuel line, causing T-Bone to lose control and go flying right into the still-open portal.

They are deposited into prehistoric times, and T-Bone makes an emergency landing by the ocean, and as Razor gets out to repair the damage, a pair of plesiosaurs emerge from he water and attack the jet. The SWAT Kats eject in their Ejektor seats, and are suddenly attacked by an entire flock of pterodactyl-like creatures. Back in the present, the Megasaurus Rex continues to crush the opposing Enforcers as crowds of citizens flee for their lives. Sitting on the dinosaur's nose, the Pastmaster thumbs through his book and finds a way to turn everything back to the way it was in the Dark Ages, even as Commander Feral arrives on the scene, and orders that knock-out gas be used on the dinosaur.

His men comply, and, disoriented by the gas, the Megasaurus Rex stumbles into the tar pits and sinks in, becoming stuck. Callie and Dr. Sinian arrive, and tell Feral they need to get the book away from the Pastmaster. Realizing he needs a new mode of transportation, the Pastmaster next summons a flock of pterodactyls, one of which lifts him up off the immobilized Megasaurus Rex's head, just as the Enforcers throw a net over it. Since the spell must be done from the highest clock tower in the land, the Pastmaster goes to City Hall. Back in prehistoric times, the SWAT Kats still have their paws full with the pterodactyl-like things.

They launch Spider Missiles, which wrap around two of the creatures, and causing them to fall into the water and become easy prey for the plesiosaurs. They then lead the remaining two into the crater of a live volcano; the SWAT Kats withstand the hot air using their gas masks, but the unprotected creatures are overcome and fall into the lava. Heading back to where they left the jet, Razor says he may know how to get the Turbokat working again.

Back in Megakat City, Callie and Dr. Sinian fill in Mayor Manx about the Pastmaster, and so he sends them up to try and negotiate with the wizard. Up on the roof, the Pastmaster is preparing his spell; when the clock of City Hall strikes twelve, all of Megakat City will be reverted back to the Dark Ages! Callie and Dr. Sinian come onto the roof, but the Pastmaster isn't interested in negotiations. He zaps them with his watch, knocking them back into the hallway, and slams the door. In prehistoric times, the SWAT Kats use gases from the volcano to power the Turbokat and, evading the plesiosaurs a third time, they fly up and back through the time portal.

Mayor Manx tells Feral he has only three minutes to stop the Pastmaster, but the Commander and his chopper squadron are decimated by the wizard's flock of pterodactyls (Feral himself loses control and crashes right into the Mayor's office, much to Manx's dismay), just as the SWAT Kats arrive. A pterodactyl lands on the back of the jet, so T-Bone hits with a huge dose of after burn, frying it. Two more close in on them, so T-Bone does a sharp dive. The pterodactyls try to follow, but lose control and smack into one another.

Unable to withstand the G-forces, T-Bone passes out, but Razor, who for once didn't black out, wakes him up before they crash. Figuring out the Pastmaster's plan, Razor fires a missile that lodges into the face of the City Hall clock, between the hour and minute hand, preventing it from reaching twelve. The Pastmaster and his remaining pterodactyl try to pry it free, but the SWAT Kats knock them off the clock tower and into the time portal.

The Tome of Time flies from the Pastmaster's hands and gets sucked into the Turbokat's intakes, and is shredded, and the portal closes after the evil wizard. As the bits of the spell book flutter down, Dr. Sinian says she regrets not being able to include the Tome of Time in the upcoming exhibit, but that she's just glad the Pastmaster is gone...for now. Triumphant, the SWAT Kats fly back home.

Screenshots

Transcript

The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice

- Written by Glenn Leopold

Jack> Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Tom. This old boneyard is supposed to be cursed!

Tom> What are ya, Jack, a scaredy kat? We find somethin' valuable, and the museum'll pay big bucks for it! So shut up and keep diggin'! Hey, I think I've hit paydirt! Gimme a hand here! There's probably treasure inside. [grunts]

Jack and Tom> [cough]

Jack> Ugliest treasure I've ever seen...

Tom> Yeah, well this old watch has gotta be worth plenty of- What?!

Jack> Wh-who are you?

Pastmaster> I am the Pastmaster, imprisoned in here for 800 years.

Jack> I told ya this place was cursed!

Pastmaster> At last I'm finally free! Now to find my book of spells.

Jack> L-L-Let's get outta here!

Tom> No way! We're gonna sell that old gnome to the museum, watch and all!

Pastmaster> [mutters] Curse the council! My book isn't where I hid it!

Tom> You're comin' with us, Pastmaster!

Pastmaster> You foolish mortals! Even without my spellbook I have enough power to deal with vermin like you! Let them go! I have more important work for you. Start digging, and find my book of spells!

Enforcer> You are violating a restricted area! Put down those shovels! You're under arrest!

Pastmaster> Do those modern fools think some infernal machine can stop me?! Attack!

2nd Enforcer> Do we read these things their rights?

Enforcer> You have the right to remain buried!

2nd Enforcer> These bones ain't movin' now. What's this thing?

Enforcer> I don't know. Headquarters wants us to take it over to the Museum of History.

2nd Enforcer> Roger.

Pastmaster> Perhaps this "museum" has my book. So, this is what's been accomplished in 800 years. I want the Dark Ages back! And when I find my Tome of Time, I will arrange just that! [cackles]

T-Bone> Mach 4! Ready for more?! Mach 5! All right, ten seconds. Beat that, SWAT Kat.

Razor> What?

T-Bone> Ha! New personal best! Ten seconds at Mach 5.

Razor> Yeah, well, if you say so. Of coruse, I didn't see it.

T-Bone> Sure you didn't see it, you were out like like a blown engine!

Razor> Hey, then how do I know you made ten seconds? I mean, you could've passed out too, and just made it up to yank my tail.

T-Bone> That does it! Two outta three!

Razor> You're on!

T-Bone> [straining] Why don't ya just admit it! I can take more Gs than you!

Razor> [straining also] I'll believe it when I see it!

Sinian> And so when the museum re-opens, our new exhibit will trace the evoloution of Megakat City from prehistoric swamp, to urban sprawl.

Callie> This should be enough for me to write the Mayor's press release. Thanks, Dr. Sinian. Will that be in the exhibit?

Sinian> Oh, just came in, but it's definatly a part of history. The darker part. These inscriptions date back to the Dark Ages.

Callie> Really? Any idea what was inside?

Sinian> Uh, jewels, perhaps. Who knows what our ancestors might have buried in here?

Pastmaster> Here, the past is dead. I prefer my past alive! [chuckles]

Guard> Hey! How'd you get in here? The museum is closed until further- [gasps]

Pastmaster> And I say it is open! [cackles]

Guard> [yelps] No!

Callie> What was that?!

Pastmaster> I do not want to be disturbed while I look for my book!

Sinian> Oh good heavens! One of the exhibits has fallen!

Callie> One of the exhibits is alive!

Pastmaster> [growls] Where is my book?!

T-Bone> Jake! Callie's callin' us! Oh and by the way, eleven seconds at Mach 5! T-Bone here. What's happening, Ms. Briggs? Ms. Briggs, do you copy? Sounds like big trouble!

Razor> What?

T-Bone> Up and at 'em, partner! Got a fix on Callie's signal?

Razor> Roger! Megakat City Museum of History!

Sinian> We can get out through the garage!

T-Bone> Seems pretty quiet.

Razor> Quiet, huh?

T-Bone> Yikes!

Razor> Popping canopy, now! Bingo!

T-Bone> Let me give ya a hand, ladies.

Razor> T-Bone!

T-Bone> Thanks, Razor. I think I could'be taken him.

Razor> Just makin' sure the cement machine gun was operational. Whoa, exhibits are gettin' kinda lifelike, aren't they?

T-Bone> Looks like the Enforcers are here, late as usual.

Pastmaster> My Tome of Time. 800 years is far to long to be separated from such power!

Sinian> Only a sorcerer's dark power could have brought these ancient bones to life. It must have been the Pastmaster.

Callie> If you mean that weird little guy in the hood, why don't you just ask him?

Sinian> Oh no! He's stolen an ancient spellbook!

Sergeant> All right, buddy, hand it over!

Pastmaster> The Tome of Time belongs to me! Hear the spell of this immortal, send this creature through the portal!

Sinian> It's a Megasaurus Rex!

Pastmaster> [cackles] Out of my way, you fools! I command the past, and your future looks bleak!

T-Bone> Hang tight, we'll take care of this. Let's kick some tail!

Razor> Roger! Octopus Missiles, away!

T-Bone> It just kicked our tails!

Sinian> The SWAT Kats!

Callie> They're gone!

Sinian> Now who will save Megakat City?!

T-Bone> Come on, baby! Gotcha!

Razor> Uhh, T-Bone? I've got a feeling we're not in Megakat City anymore.

T-Bone> Yeah, sleepin' beauty, looks like that giant lizard smashed us into the past. Any idea how to get back?

Razor> Well, I've got a better question. How does a jet stay in the air without fuel?

T-Bone> Answer: it doesn't!

Razor> Well, I'd better get to work fixing that torn fuel line.

T-Bone> Fine. The closest gas station is only a million years away.

Razor> Huh? Ejektors!

T-Bone> Engaged! I guess we showed them.

Razor> Affirmative, but now we have to show them!

Enforcer> Fire!

Pastmster> Aha, there is a way to destroy this modern monstrosity called Megakat City, and bring back the Dark Ages!

Enforcer> It's no use, Commander! We've thrown everything at that lizard!

Feral> I'm surprised those meddling SWAT Kats aren't here.

Enforcer> They got taken out early, sir.

Feral> Really? Well, we can handle this. Launch gas grenades!

Enforcer> Yes sir!

Pastmaster> The spell must be cast from the tallest clocktower in the land. Once that was my tower, but now- You stupid beast!

Feral> They're not going anywhere!

Sinian> Get that spellbook from the Pastmaster, or we're all still in danger!

Feral> I give the orders around here!

Callie> Feral, Dr. Sinian knows what she's talking about. She's the curator of the museum.

Feral> All right. Throw a net over that guy!

Pastmaster> Hear the spell of this immortal, send these creatures through the portal!

Callie> Too little too late, Feral!

Feral> This is Feral. Bring me chopper backup!

Pastmaster> Yes, that clocktower will do nicely!

Callie> He's headed for City Hall!

Manx> Huh?!

T-Bone> Spider Missiles, now! Goin' down!

Razor> T-Bone, follow me!

T-Bone> Into a live volcano?! Razor, you're crazier than I am!

Razor> Oxygen masks, now! Lucky for us those leather-wings don't have gas masks.

T-Bone> Smells like prehistoric fried chicken. Volcano-hoppin' was kinda fun, but I don't wanna spend the rest of my nine lives stuck in dinosaurville.

Razor> Affirmative. And I've got an idea that just might get the Turbokat back in the air.

Feral> Let me blast that gnome and his buzzards off of there!

Manx> I give the orders around here, Feral, and you're not going to blow up my City Hall, until I know who we're dealing with and what he wants!

Callie> He's an 800-year-old sorcerer from the Dark Ages!

Manx> Perfect! Well, don't just stand there! Get up to the tower and find out what he wants!

Razor> Fuel tanks are modified. Give me some gas!

T-Bone> You really think this is gonna work?

Razor> Well, theoretically, the natural volcanic gas mixture should get us off the ground. Or blow us up.

Pastmaster> Alas, it's too late. When this clocktower strikes noon, my Dark Age city will return, and your Megakat City will be no more! [cackles]

Callie> Wait! The Mayor has authorized me to give you anything you want! Money! A parade in your honor!

Pastmaster> How generous. But I'm already getting what I want! A return to the past!

Sinian> Our only hope is to destroy that book!

Callie> And we're running out of time!

Pastmaster> You're really going to enjoy the Dark Ages!

Callie> Guess it's up to Feral now, especially without the SWAT Kats.

T-Bone> Maybe we should've tried the unleaded volcano.

Razor> Well, at least we didn't blow up.

T-Bone> Feeding time again, guys? Sorry, SWAT Kat ain't on the menu!

Razor> T-Bone! Looks like another one of those time holes is opening.

Manx> Feral, you've got only three minutes to blast that sorcerer out of the clocktower!

Feral> My pleasure! Fool should've given the order an hour ago.

Pastmaster> Get them!

Manx> My office!

Pastmaster> [chuckles] It won't be long, now!

T-Bone> We're back!

Callie> The SWAT Kats!

Razor> Looks like our city's having an identity crisis.

Callie> SWAT Kats, you have only one minute to blast the Pastmaster out of the City Hall clocktower!

Razor> Who says we can't fight City Hall?

T-Bone> Eat afterburner! Watch this! If the Gs don't knock you out!

Razor> Nice flying, T-Bone! Hey! I didn't pass out! I- T-Bone! Wake up, buddy! We need a pilot now!

T-Bone> Why didn't you eject?

Razor> And miss that look on your face? No way!

Manx> They're too late!

Pastmaster> Time's up! Nooooo!

Manx> I wish they'd got back in time to save my office.

Sinian> I guess the Tome of Time won't be making it into the new exhibit. But, at least we don't have to worry about the Pastmaster anymore.

T-Bone> Yeah!

T-Bone and Razor> Rock and roll!

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The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice

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